Joyful Enough: Surviving the Holidays When They’re Far From Perfect
When the holidays are hard – Actionable strategies to create a season of peace, resilience, and joy, regardless of your circumstances.
I get it- surviving the holidays can feel overwhelming.
I've created a fresh take on beating holiday stress and sadness—strategies that feel manageable, even on the hardest days.
Stress-Free Holiday Blueprint
These aren’t just tips—they’re solutions you can implement today to feel calmer, more connected, and in control this holiday season.
This holiday season isn't joyful for everyone—and that’s okay. This time can feel especially heavy if you're managing overwhelming responsibilities, grieving a loved one, or navigating feelings of sadness and loneliness.
Whether you’re struggling to find joy or simply need a break from the holiday chaos, these holiday stress management strategies will help you navigate the season with a little more ease, compassion, and control.
According to Psychology Today, 64% of individuals with mental health conditions report that the holidays worsen their symptoms. Additionally, a broader NAMI survey found that three in five Americans experience negative mental health impacts during the holidays, with grief, financial strain, and stress often amplify during this time​.
When my father was in the last few years of his life and was bedridden and couldn’t speak, the holidays were a rough time of year. Some days I just wanted to hide under the bed covers. During that time I implemented simple mindfulness and boundary-setting techniques to reclaim my holiday experience, shifting from dread to a more meaningful and different but manageable celebration.
For example, I found relief by honoring my father who passed with a personal ritual with my cousin rockin' out to Stairway to Heaven with Heart instead of attempting to recreate past traditions that felt fake and overwhelming. Or I would sneak away to the bathroom to rap my favorite ratchet rap song to myself to keep my calm. I also wore a pair of peace beads I would rub every time someone asked me how my Dad was doing, knowing that he wasn’t going to get better or ever walk or speak again.
My hope is one tip will inspire you to try something new this holiday season.
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Simple holiday self-care tips
1. Delete & Filter Your Calendar
Instead of adding to your to-do list, remove something stressful each day leading up to the holidays. For example:
- Day 1: Skip sending cards this year
- Day 2: Decide on one potluck dish instead of hosting
- Day 3: Set a boundary for visits or calls
Why it works: It helps lighten your emotional and logistical load incrementally!
2. Use a Yes/No Filter for Holiday Tasks
Write down every holiday task (decorating, shopping, attending events) and filter each one with two questions:
- Does this align with my current energy level?
- Will this bring me or my loved one genuine joy?
- Say "NO" to the rest
Why it works: It minimizes decision fatigue and prioritizes what matters most.
3. Take 5 Kits
Pre-pack a few “Take 5 stress kits” that include:
- A favorite essential oil or calming scent
- A mindfulness card with a short, empowering phrase, or a song lyric
- Noise-canceling earplugs or headphones for a quiet moment
- A 3-minute guided breathing video saved on your phone
Why it works: These kits make it easy to pause and reset, even in the chaos of the holidays.
4. Silent Gifting
Instead of traditional gift giving or in addition to, invite loved ones to write anonymous notes of appreciation for one another, including you and put them in a gift box. Read them aloud together.
Why it works: Instead of traditional gift giving or in addition to, invite loved ones to write anonymous notes of appreciation for one another, including you and put them in a gift box. Read them aloud together.
5. Put Tech to Use
Host a virtual holiday toast, karaoke or trivia game with far-away loved ones to replace travel-heavy or time-consuming gatherings. Just because you can’t make it in person, you can still get creative and use tech to connect.
Why it works: Connection is maintained without physical effort, saving energy and time.
6. "Glimmers” & “Joy Anchors" for Each Day
Commit to a small, repeatable moment of joy every day, such as:
- Savoring your morning coffee undisturbed.
- Playing one upbeat or heavy-hitting song and dancing for a minute.
- Lighting a candle and reflecting on one positive moment.
Why it works: It shifts focus from stressors to small, consistent pleasures
7. You're the boss. Give yourself a Permission Slip!
Write out and carry "permission slips" for emotions like:
- “It’s okay to feel sad today.”
- “I don’t have to be cheerful every second of the holidays.”
Why it works: When the holidays are hard, Acknowledging emotions without judgment reduces their intensity and promotes emotional resilience.
8. Focus Out
When it sucks inside you, focus out and create small acts of kindness, such as
- Leaving cookies for delivery drivers.
- Sending a small card or text to someone who is alone.
Why it works: Helping others fosters purpose and combats sadness, even in challenging times.
9. Shake it till you Make it or Soothe it till You Groove It
When you start feeling unhinged, curate two playlists:
- One for uplifting moments (songs that boost your mood).
- One for calm or sadder moments (songs to unwind or process emotions).
Why it works: Music is a powerful, immediate mood regulator.
10. Flip the Script: Make the Holidays Yours
Who says you have to follow some cookie-cutter idea of what the holidays should look like? Forget the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations. This year, do what you actually enjoy—whether that’s Chinese takeout and Netflix, skipping the tree altogether, or wearing pajamas all day. Traditions are made-up anyway, you get to make up your own.
Here’s the Secret Sauce:
Think about what genuinely makes you happy (hint: it may not be something from a movie). Then, build your holidays around that. Want a solo spa night instead of a family gathering? Go for it. Prefer tacos over a classic turkey dinner? Done.
Bottom Line: Your holiday, your vibe, your rules.
It Starts With the Inside
The Science of Stress
Stress can push your body out of homeostasis, leading to brain fog, exhaustion, irritability, and even physical health challenges like inflammation or mood disorders.
Mitochondria & Resilience
Your mitochondria—the energy powerhouse of your cells—can become stressed due to poor nutrition, environmental toxins, lack of sleep, and toxic relationships. This cellular stress triggers your nervous system to interpret danger, even when there’s no physical threat, keeping you in a fight-or-flight state.
How to Support Your System
- Prioritize sleep to allow your mitochondria to repair and function optimally.
- Opt for nutrient-dense meals to fuel your body and balance glucose levels.
- Reduce exposure to toxic environments—emotional or physical—to maintain internal balance.
Taking care of your internal health builds the foundation for resilience and energy, allowing you to face the holidays with strength and clarity.
The holidays aren’t joyful for everyone, and that’s okay. Whether you are managing grief, sadness, or the chaos of caregiving, this guide helps you navigate the holidays with ease and compassion.
Want to get ahead of New Year’s resolutions and start taming the chaos and improving your health today?
Connect with me on my coach profile! 👇
Chaos Tamer Brandy Monge guides busy professionals to find balance between the chaotic life of a successful career and the desire to be healthy, fit, and energetic. She shows professionals that they don’t have to choose between being successful or being healthy. Brandy is a nutrition coach, gym owner, and fitness trainer who has a start with what we love approach to nutrition and fitness. Find other articles written by Brandy on her coach profile and start creating systems and habits to get your body in tip-top shape just like your career.
